Log in

05 August 2008 @ 06:13 pm
Salad Times (fluff/humor)  
Title: Salad Times
Written By: Perriwynkkle
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: HoMin
Genre: Fluff/Humor
Length: 1/1, one-shot
Disclaimer: SM owns DBSK...sad beanz.

Summary: Yunho and his obsession with salad...and something a hell of a lot more interesting.

Author's Note: This is probably written kind of funny, since it is not in my usual format, nor did it take me a long time to write....it honestly took me around...maybe....30 minutes to crank out since honestly, I just got the idea and needed to write it.  So I apologize for spelling and grammatical errors if there are any. I hope you enjoy this short little diddy!

Nothing beat cold, watery, crispy iceberg lettuce on a hot day. Especially when it was smothered in croutons, tomatoes, cheese and sunflower seeds with a hint of Italian dressing! To be honest it wasn’t all vegetables, you included some chopped up chicken too, just for the added protein benefit, and to stop the other guys from teasing you about your unhealthy girly habits. You usually had to laugh at that remark if it came from Jaejoong’s mouth, especially since he was the one who groomed like an obsessive tween on the way to a Miley Cyrus concert.
Chomping down on the juicy tomatoes and crunchy lettuce you looked happily around the room, scanning the quiet before the ultimate storm. You had about another hour to kill before your next A-Nation show, the white tent making the already humid air almost unbearable. There was a little white fan rotating in the corner, but it didn’t exactly help, only blew the sticky oxygen back into you and your band-mate’s faces.
Italian dressing stung slightly in a newly formed canker sore as Junsu groaned from a pullout chair across the tent, “Make it stop!”
Jaejoong chuckled as he looked around from a low mirror, “Make what stop?”
“The heat.” Junsu whipped his forehead, the moisture clinging to his arm hair, “It’s too fucking hot to even perform today, and especially with lights…we’re going to be cooking like pigs on the spit.”
“I always liked bacon.” Yoochun giggled as you watched Junsu stand and smack him lightly on the head.
“Hey hey,” you muttered from between mouthfuls of greens, “Put that energy into something more productive.”
Yoochun flipped his head around to face you, “Like what?”
“Like shutting up.” You replied, shoving another fork full of iceberg into your mouth.
Rolling his eyes, Yoochun turned back to the Nintendo he had previously been entertaining himself with, the small pings of Super Mario Cart hitting your ear-drums.
“What crawled up your butt and died?” Jaejoong asked, sitting happily down next to you, his short red hair gleaming in the muted glow of the tent fabric.
You smiled, “Nothing is wrong with me…it was just a joke.”
Jaejoong smirked back, bringing up a finger and poking it into your cheek, “I’m not talking about the Chun comment…I’m talking about this…” he said, running his hands around your figure and your blessed salad. “You are sitting here all alone in the corner, with your only companion being a bowl of rabbit food.”
You glared at him, “What about it.”
A sigh, “Yunho, where’s your boyfriend?”
Your eyes went wide, “He’s not my boyfriend!”
“Uh huh…” he groaned, rolling his eyes and slamming a hand on the table, “If you’re fucking him…which I know you are…technically speaking, dating usually goes along with it.”
Your fork dropped as you swallowed a large hunk of salad, “How did you know we were sleeping together?”
Jaejoong chuckled, “Uhm, I live in the same house and sound travels.”
You felt your face grow hot and feel slightly prickly, you weren’t trying to keep the relationship a secret from the guys but, that concept being public was just embarrassing.
Clearing your throat, you whispered, “Do the other guys hear it?”
A nod, “Yes they do kangaroo boy.”
“Aaaahhhh shit.” You groaned in a whisper, running your hand through the thick brown hair sticking to your scalp from sweat.
Jaejoong smiled, this time genuinely, his hand coming to land on your back, “It’s what ear-plugs are for, and we have all invested in them. So don’t worry, you can do whatever you want now, we won’t hear it.”
“Thanks.” You say sarcastically, jabbing your fork back into your plate. 
“But just don’t do it in the living room, please, we all sit on that couch.”
“Oh, I promise you, that won’t happen.” A voice rang from the other side of the tent where the open flap led to the backstage area. “I have tried sleeping on that couch and that thing is not comfortable or sex-supportive.”
“Changmin!” you shouted, only mildly surprised at his quiet entrance. “How much of the conversation could you hear?”
Changmin took a swig of icy lemonade his adam’s apple bobbing, “Only the last sentence.”
“Oh…well okay then.” You reply, watching as he sits down at your side, facing Jaejoong’s smirking face.
Jaejoong sighed, you knew he was feeling like the odd one out, “I think I am going to go hang out with Su for a bit.”
He rose from the white plastic chair he had been adorning, and walked oh so fluidly over to Su’s immediate side, laughing in a personal joke.
“So…” Changmin started, shoving his lemonade between his palms, “No sex on the couch huh?”
You shook your head, “No, no sex on the couch.”
Changmin’s smile almost blinded you, the flush of his tan skin brightening the white spheres, “I didn’t want to anyways…” he leaned in, his wet mouth up against your ear, “I’d rather you fuck me on the kitchen table.”
You figured you looked like a steamed lobster, and not from the heat, as you choked lightly on a small bite of crouton. Changmin handed you his lemonade, watching as you downed a large sip with sparkling, caramel brown eyes.
Grabbing your fork once again, you looked down at your plate, yet noticed something was wrong. “One of my tomatoes is missing.”
A crunching sound immediately to your right alerted you to the fact that your lover was indeed stealing your food.
“You do this every single time, why must you steal my food?” You asked, his smile enlarging as he swallowed.
“Because I can.” He replied, grabbing another red dollop and popping it gracefully between his teeth.
“That really bugs me when you do that you know.”
You hear a chuckle, “Everything bugs you.”
“Maybe…maybe not.” You reply, grabbing a tomato and putting it between your lips, all the while pulling Changmin in closer.
Coming together you kissed, rolling the tomato up against your two sets of teeth, sucking as the juice exploded gracefully into both of your hot mouths.
Sighing as you broke apart, Changmin reached for your lip, running the rough pad of his thumb against the plump muscle while biting his own lip.
“Wish we could continue.” He says softly, pulling his hand away.
“So do I.” You reply, running a hand down his pants covered thigh as your manager finally opens the tent flap.
“Time to go show them what we’re made of!” You shout, rousing the other guys while you stand and throw away your plastic plate. Changmin follows suit, tossing out his now empty bottle of lemonade and running towards the nearest stage.
You’re the last one out of the dark tent, running slowly across the dirt to where the stage stairs went violently vertical towards the loud and anxious crowd.
Smiling to yourself, you almost jump onto the first stair in happiness as the band is announced and you’re called onto the stage.
You give your lover a light smack on the ass..........................you were ready. 

Hope you all liked it! Comments are really appreciated! THANKS!

Current Mood: energeticenergetic
Current Music: Kiss Shita Mama Sayoonara - Tohoshinki
나는 KEEPITLOW 나는 KEEPITLOW: chunlovefiat_amorfati on August 6th, 2008 01:44 am (UTC)
Was this inspired by the interview (forgot for which magazine)???

“I’d rather you fuck me on the kitchen table.”
The infamous kitchen~~ The should totally have elevator or balcony sex next, in vegas XD

Coming together you kissed, rolling the tomato up against your two sets of teeth, sucking as the juice exploded gracefully into both of your hot mouths.
Explosive juicy kiss indeed 8D

another brilliant work <333
perriwynkkleperriwynkkle on August 6th, 2008 01:51 am (UTC)
Ahhh, thank you muchers! Yet, brilliant...really? LOL!

Yes it was inspired by the one interview...where Yunho says Changmin needs to stop stealing his salad and Jaejoong tells Changmin to stop staring at him...yeah. LOL!
나는 KEEPITLOW 나는 KEEPITLOW: chunlovefiat_amorfati on August 6th, 2008 02:04 am (UTC)
That tomato act has turned into a foreplay in my head right now. (when the bit the red ruby, its juice dribbles at the corner of minmin's mouth and riida-sshi smirks before licking it off)

PUAHAHAHA~~~ i love my brain, and yours too! 8D
Stephanietheresa_lynne on August 6th, 2008 04:17 am (UTC)
Balcony sex. Oooooh.

I'm still waiting for pool-table sex AND camping sex. Is nobody writing here? Sheesh. Doesn't anyone hear my suggestions? LMAO.
Ninjas with Emo haircandi_freak on August 6th, 2008 02:03 am (UTC)
You usually had to laugh at that remark if it came from Jaejoong’s mouth, especially since he was the one who groomed like an obsessive tween on the way to a Miley Cyrus concert.
I now have jokes for the whole week! :D
That was too awesome!
perriwynkkleperriwynkkle on August 6th, 2008 02:55 am (UTC)
Joke supplier = me!


I am happy you liked it!
Laurennarcolept_smurf on August 6th, 2008 02:07 am (UTC)
“It’s what ear-plugs are for, and we have all invested in them. So don’t worry, you can do whatever you want now, we won’t hear it.”

LMAO gotta love Jae and his ever so awesome comments on the HoMin relationship. That and him calling the salad rabbit food were rather amusing. Then the whole HoMin interaction was just too funny. Min cracks me up so much!! <3
perriwynkkleperriwynkkle on August 6th, 2008 02:56 am (UTC)
Jae is totally crack-tastic and full of win!

Rabbit food, yes, lettuce and vegetables...*sigh* LOL!

thanks for reading!
Yuxiyuxo on August 6th, 2008 03:17 am (UTC)
Aw~ XD

Well, idek why yunho's only eating SALAD WTF BOY NEEDS TO EAT MORE AND EAT THINGS THAT AREN'T JUST LEAVES but for this fic, i think i can live with iceberg salad. XD

min is such a slut. lmfao. they're whores for each other, good lord!! XDDDDDD

;_; although, they better actually hook up for real soon. XDDDDDDDDD

Stephanietheresa_lynne on August 6th, 2008 04:18 am (UTC)
SALADS ARE GOOD, OKAY. *hugs bowl of lettuce and tomatoes with cheese* IT MAKES ME HAPPY. YUNHO OBVIOUSLY HAS GOOD TASTE IN FOOD and sex partners.
perriwynkkleperriwynkkle on August 6th, 2008 04:32 am (UTC)
rabbit food is delicious...don't know what you talking 'bout! LOL!

Min is a total slut...for Ho!
Quiet_Heartachequiet_heartache on August 6th, 2008 06:43 am (UTC)
'“I have tried sleeping on that couch and that thing is not comfortable or sex-supportive.”' - min. is just. LOVE

poor ho, all embarrassed XD

perriwynkkleperriwynkkle on August 6th, 2008 04:41 pm (UTC)
He is embarassed in a good way...LOL!
formed by the rapid cooling of lava -- 黒曜石mcgrjc6 on August 7th, 2008 01:51 am (UTC)
Eating healthy never seemed so...HOT! The tomato kiss was pure genius!!!
doma_arsonicadoma_arsonica on August 8th, 2008 05:32 am (UTC)
There tomato kiss should be in a juicy fruit commercial..or starburst. xD

So cute and hot!! I like the conversations between all of them =]
winterbubbleteawinterbubbletea on August 12th, 2008 07:53 am (UTC)
Shared salad Yum...
Yunho's Honey Funny Bunnykuro_wolf on December 25th, 2008 05:25 pm (UTC)
All this reading in one go, i have said all i have to sya so after this im only going to put smily faces cos i will love wat i read nway! hehehehe XD
tokidoki_sama: tokidoki-samatokidoki_sama on May 1st, 2010 02:35 am (UTC)
as;ldkfj asd;oiuf asdfjas;dljfasl

I totally love... wait... wait... a;soh foi[rf a;lsdjf;alsdjf ;aosduf as;l

there was another one that had to rear its head... *sigh* keysmashes... got to love 'em right?! XD

I absolutely love it when people characterize Changmin like that... everybody knows that his shyness is just a facade... he's really a sex feind. Am I right? of course I'm right... lol

And Yunho being all prude but not prude... XD love it!

you know... I eat a salad for lunch at least two or three times a week... I'll never be able to think about them the same way again... XDDDDDD

Oh... and you did very well with that perspective!!! Not many people can pull that off, but you did great!

Loved loved loved this fic!

*hops off to read more*

perriwynkkleperriwynkkle on May 1st, 2010 02:37 am (UTC)
*luvs you* THANK YOU!!!!!