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11 November 2008 @ 03:57 pm
Once Again (One Shot)  
Title: Once Again
Written By: Perriwynkkle
Rating: PG
Pairing: JaeMin
Length: One-Shot
Disclaimer: SM owns the boys, I wish I did.

"Baby why'd you leave me, why'd you have to go?
I was counting on forever, now I'll never know.
I can't even breathe.
It's like I'm, looking from a distance, standing in the background
Everybody's saying, "your not coming home now".
This can't be happening to me.
This is just a dream."

Carrie Underwood - Just A Dream

A/N: So...yeah, I don't know what came over me today, but I came up with this idea walking to work and wrote it in around 15 minutes just sitting there thinking about it. I listened to the song, and then the idea hit me even harder and I just wrote like a demon was chasing my fingers. LOL! Anyways, yes this story is sad, but sad stories should be read just as much as the happy ones.

At time like this, was when I usually thought of him.
Standing there in the cold, the rain not really pouring, but slapping hard none-the-less against my dark black umbrella. The diamond droplets cascading gracefully down the convex sides of my jacket and soaking my socks even more through brown, worn-out Converse.
My fingers had no more feeling. The cold only seemed to harden me more to the flowing of emotions wanting to burst from my orafices. I had to keep them inside. Keep the outcries of pain and suffering trapped inside my barbed wire encased heart, and leave the hot tears suffocating my sight.
It was times like this, I wish it had been me.
Me being crushed between two strong slabs of metal in the middle of a busy intersection.
I should have been me.
He was more loved anyways.
Everyone loved him...yet maybe that was why his fate came so early.
The adoration he recieved, the smiles he put on everyone's faces were all just a part of a bigger him. More like his body was only a trap for his sunshine bright spirit.
That his spirit had longed forever to be let free of the confinement, that death was the only way it could escape. Escape from beind contact blue eyes, shiny raven hair, and fluid length's of muscle.
Too soon. Too fast. Too quick.
I was sure that night that my life was over. In a sense it was. My happiness was gone. But the rest of me remained. Remained with him.
He was my rock, my golden ball of reassurance, and the only one who knew me as who I really was.
He understood me like no one else could, he was the Encyclopedia of my heart.
He could tell you what my favorite food was, favorite color, sexual position, and crying place. All at the drop of a hat.
Whenever I needed him, he was there with a smile and the sloppy kiss which I hated so much. Even if he was to tired to even comprehend a sentence, he listened and remembered. To recite the whole speech back at me the next morning over a steaming cup of coffee.
He knew how to please me. To comfort me. To grab me by the back of the neck and make me feel like I was the only person in the world he could ever care anything about. To run his fingers down my throat and chest, poetically yet pathetically scrawling "I love you" across my heated skin.
Everything he did made me love him.
Everything he was made me love him.
Now all I can do...is miss him.
Miss the things once physical, now phantom.

To stand in front of his grave, the rain wetting my hair as the umbrella drops to the browning grass.
I no longer care about the cold, the wind, the rain.
I only want to see him.
To feel him.
To touch him.
To find him once again.

Current Mood: busy
Current Music: Just A Dream - Carrie Underwood
realitywaiting on November 12th, 2008 12:49 am (UTC)
D': don't know what else to say...T.T
perriwynkkleperriwynkkle on November 13th, 2008 03:34 am (UTC)
It was that good eh? LOL! I didn't think I would leave people speechless by either it's grandness or it's ubber suckage.
emda: Jaeminemda on November 12th, 2008 01:01 am (UTC)
SO BEAUTIFUL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I love it!!!!!!!!
Im going to mem this!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
perriwynkkleperriwynkkle on November 13th, 2008 03:34 am (UTC)
Oh YAY! I have been Mem'd!

I feel very special!
heartless156 on November 12th, 2008 03:40 am (UTC)
What a way to end my day T_T....
if I ended having some sad, brokenhearted JaeMin dream, I mean nightmare, I gonna blame you for it... XP but this was beautifully written nonetheless....
perriwynkkleperriwynkkle on November 13th, 2008 03:34 am (UTC)
Did you have any bad dreams or should I go run and hide now?

heartless156 on November 13th, 2008 07:13 pm (UTC)
LOZ!!! Lucky for you, I didn't... somehow, it has an opposite effect though... instead of a bad dream, I actually have a very good one!!!! XD
perriwynkkleperriwynkkle on November 13th, 2008 09:36 pm (UTC)
Oooh? Interesting...
ycsbrain on November 12th, 2008 05:03 am (UTC)
this hurt.
perriwynkkleperriwynkkle on November 13th, 2008 03:35 am (UTC)
Oh, I am sorry, I hope it hurt in a non physical way...thanks for reading!
hollyhock: Jaemin2hollyhockyuu on November 12th, 2008 05:36 am (UTC)
Everything he did made me love him.
Everything he was made me love him.

That killed me =o I should not been listening to a sad DBSK song and reading this =___=

♥ I loved it, and I love Jaemin
perriwynkkleperriwynkkle on November 13th, 2008 03:35 am (UTC)
YAY I am so happy you loved it!

Thanks so much for reading and taking the time to comment!
Joshi_swjoshi_sw on November 12th, 2008 01:16 pm (UTC)
Waaaah~~ this broke my heart but it was really good written! T_T
perriwynkkleperriwynkkle on November 13th, 2008 03:36 am (UTC)
Thank you sooo much!
Benevolent Dictatoramouralamer on November 13th, 2008 12:48 am (UTC)
perriwynkkleperriwynkkle on November 13th, 2008 03:36 am (UTC)
That pretty much sums it up. LOL!
(Deleted comment)
perriwynkkleperriwynkkle on November 13th, 2008 09:36 pm (UTC)
Yes, I made it to be Minnie's PV! ^-^

Thanks for reading and commenting!